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that I would be good even if I did nothing that I would be good even if I got the thumbs down that I would be good if I got and stayed sick that I would be good even if

how bout getting off these antibiotics how bout stopping eating when I´m full up how bout them transparent dangling carrots how bout that ever elusive kudo thank you india thank you terror thank you disillusionment thank you frailty thank you

«I am someone easy to leave»? «Even easier to forget»? a voice, if inaccurate Again: «I´m the one they all run from»? Diatribes of clouded sun Someone help me find the pause button All these tapes in my head swirl

I was afraid you´d hit me if I´d spoken up I was afraid of your physical strength I was afraid you´d hit below the belt I was afraid of your sucker punch I was afraid of you reducing me I

you were full and fully capable you were self sufficient and needless your house was fully decorated in that sense you were taken with me to a point a case of careful what you wish for but what you knew

Something so benign for construed as cruelty Such a difference between who I am and who you see Conclusions you come to of me routinely incorrect I don´t know who you´re talking to with such f**king disrespect This shit´s making

I won´t see my dear friends as much Male friends especially, I´ll no longer be in touch I´ll change my hobbies to match yours I´ll stop reading my favorite books I won´t spend all this selfish time alone I´ll cater

For hearing all my doubts so selectively and For continuing my numbing love endlessly For helping you and myself: not even considering For beating myself up and overfunctioning To whom do I owe the biggest apology? No one?s been crueler

Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly One small sideways look and I feel so ungood Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make Me feel the way I thought only my father

you from new york you are so relevant you reduce me to cosmic tears luminous more so than most anyone unapologetically alive knot in my stomach and lump in my throat I love you when you dance when you freestyle

Deadlines, meetings and contracts all breached D-days and structure responsibility Have-to?s and need-to?s and get-to?s by three Eleventh hours and upset employees I want to be naked, running through the streets I want to invite this so called chaos, that

You and me we’re cut from the same cloth it seems to some we famously get along but you and me are strangers to each other cuz you and me:competitive to the bone such tragedy to trample on each other

You’ve been my golden best friend Now with post – demise at hand Can’t go to you for consolation Cause we’re off limits during this transition This grief overwhelms me It burns in my stomach And I can’t stop bumping

Wait a minute, man You mispronounced my name You dinn’t wait for all the information Before you turned me away Wait a minute sir You kind of hurt my feelings You see me as a sweet back-loaded puppet And you’ve